Thursday, April 30, 2009

Writer's Workshop: My Girls

IT'S THURSDAY!!!!! Time for the weekly assignment, which I have neglected for the past few weeks, over at Mama's Losin' It.

Here are the prompts:

1.) Who really helped you get over something? Write about that person.

2.) Is plastic surgery an option? Without being vulgar, write about the body part still attached to you that you would most like to dis-attach and replace with a better one.

3.) Share an interesting email exchange you've had with someone lately.

4.) Have you thought about shutting down your blog? Why haven't you and what would cause you to make that decision final?

5.) Today I will...

I am choosing to do number 2, the plastic surgery one.  

Oh, my girls, my ta-tas, my hooters, the twins, or whatever you want to call them.  They have been sad since having kids and having those said kids literally SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THEM!

They got sad after my daughter was done with them.

Then SUPER sad after my son finished them off.

They now do nothing but stare at the ground.  They do not look the world in the face anymore without some major support and uplifting.  Always staring at the ground.

Sometimes they feel the need to require folding up into the ever present over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders. 

Sometimes it is as if they are trying to find a permanent home in the waistband of my pants. Heaven forbid they should. *IF they do, I plan to wear them OVER my shoulders instead of in the tops of my pants.  Start a new trend!*

The ladies are what I would get surgically removed and replaced with newer, HAPPIER ta-tas!  Oh, they would be the happiest twins EVER! And I would hold a bra burning ceremony in their honor!!!

That is what I would do. If I had the money.  For now, I resort to the fold and stuff method so that I do not look completely deformed!

Now, here is a little video for your viewing pleasure.  Reminds me of my girls! LOL.  ENJOY!!!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bus driver problems (sorry about the language, I'm MAD)

Ok, last week my daughter came home telling us that her school bus driver got mad at the kids sitting in the last four rows of the bus and decided to stop the bus, kick them off on the side of the road (we live in the country), and drive off.  He turned around and went back and got them, but still.  

WHO THE HELL DOES HE THINK HE IS?  Kicking a group of ELEMENTARY school kids off the bus on the side of the damn road.  

Then the past two days, she has been coming home telling us that he has been horrible to everyone on the bus and is threatening to drop them off on the side of the road AGAIN. 

I am done with this asshole.  

I am getting up first thing in the morning, at the butt-crack of dawn, and going to talk to the bus driver.  

THEN, this pissed off momma bear is going to the school to make sure that this asshole gets fired.

If they can't do anything, I will be going to the bus company and telling them that they either FIRE HIM, or I will call the sheriff and let them handle this situation.

HE FUCKED WITH THE WRONG KID.  I'm not just letting this go.

Let me tell you, if my kid would have been one of the ones put on the side of the road and left, we would have had to dig a hole out back to put the SOB in.

Ok, I'm done ranting.  I will update when I get things taken care of tomorrow. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Writer's Workshop: Money, Money, Money!

It's that time again.  Weekly assignment from Mama Kat at Mama's Losin' It.

Here are the prompts:

1.) If I sent you four hundred dollars today what is ONE thing you would spend it on and why. ps I want my change.

2.) What are your kids talking about?

3.) Tell us about a local news story that's all the buzz right now in your neck of the woods.

4.) Share some blogging advice.

5.) Tell us about that time at the playground when that thing happened.

I am choosing to do #1.  If Mama Kat sent me $400, what would I spend it on....only one thing....

Oh, the choices.....

the decision......

Now the responsible thing to do would be to pay bills, but hey, this is free money.....I'M GONNA BLOW IT!!!!!

What should I choose?


Toys (grown up toys, and not the dirty kind.....get your mind out of the gutter!)?

Aha!  Eureka, I have it!!

I would spend it in VEGAS, BABY!  

I would make a trip to meet up with my old friends from High School that are unable to make it to our 10 year reunion this summer.  I would go and blow that money.  




Male strippers.


And seeing as I have not been to Vegas as an adult, it would be so worth it.

So.......when should I expect my money Mama Kat?  

Next week?

Oh, and don't plan on change unless I hit it big! LMAO!!!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Update: Follow-up doc appointment

I had my follow-up/post-surgery check today.  

All is healing wonderfully.  

Doc was a little concerned that I am a week late for my monthly visitor and told me to take a pregnancy test at home to make sure one way or another.  I am not concerned (well, maybe just a little).  

I did not foresee that my first pee-on-a-stick adventure would be so soon.  

I have conflicting emotions right now.  On one hand--this is exactly what I wanted--a BFP (big fat positive).  But on the other hand--it is so soon, I am only 2 weeks (tomorrow) post-op, and I did not have my heart prepared for the results whether positive or negative.

Other than my adventure peeing on sticks in the morning, all is going well.  Will start actively trying to conceive soon, unless my test in the morning negates that need.


Well, no need for a test now.  Monthly visitor showed up a week late today.  

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Writer's Workshop: Hodge-podge

Time for weekly writing assignment from Mama Kat over at Mama's Losin' It.

I missed last week's assignment because of my Reversal surgery, so I figured I needed to get in on this week!

The Prompts:

1.) Why did you do it?

2.) What is a common misconception about you?

3.) Describe a moment when you felt afraid.

4.) In what ways are you turning into your mother?

5.) Are you always right?

I think that this week I will write a little on each since I am having a hard time choosing just one!

1)  Why did I do it?

Well, let's see, why did I do it.  Because I damn well wanted to, that's why.  Geez, nosy much?

2)What is a common misconception about you?

Well, I can tell you the most obvious one.  I am blonde, therefore I am perceived to be dumb.  As you can tell, I am not.  I actually have an above average intelligence.  *But* if I feel like playing into the dumb blonde role for a giggle, I can play the part! 

3)Describe a moment when you felt afraid.

This one is easy.  It was last Wednesday when I was going in for my surgery.  I was scared out of my mind.  Telling my husband that I was scared something was going to go wrong and I would leave him and the kids behind.  I was freaking out.  But I am here, and ok.  Fears are gone!

4)In what ways are you turning into your mother?

I am not and will not ever be my mother.  Period.  I refuse to be like her.  I am way too happy to be like her.  I love my life too much to be like her.  I am way too positive to be like her.  I am not her. THANK GOD!

5)Are you always right?

Of course I am.  Ask my husband.  He will tell you I am.  ALWAYS.  Even when I am wrong, I am right.  I am awesome like that.  Now bow before my awesomeness! 


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