What do you think??

So, what do you think of the look of the blog?

I was tired of the old look and thought it needed a little brightening up!

Isn't it just a happy look??  Makes me cheer up just looking at it!

Just a little cloudy with scattered sprinkles now! (an update on me)

You all know some of what we have been through the past few months. It was raining bad luck and hardships here so much that we were getting flooded. Problems with our oldest son, some money troubles, miscarriage and some health problems for me. 

I am so happy to say that things are turning around for us now. Now instead of being flooded, we are just being sprinkled on. Praise GOD!

We sat down and talked about the homeschooling of our oldest and decided that we could not afford for me to NOT work, so we are putting him into regular school. We called the school of a little town about 15 minutes from us and they have him on their list but it is not a guarantee he will be able to go there. We are going to talk some more about alternatives in case they do not accept him there. They do not have to because we are out-of-district for their school, so we are hoping they allow him to go there. They have an excellent school, it is SMALL and they have no gang or drug problems as that town is a farming town and a bit rural.

Our oldest son's attitude is improving by leaps and bounds. He now understands that we will not put up with the bullshit and that if he messes up, he has to deal with the consequences himself. We made it clear that we WILL NOT bail him out of trouble any longer. He knows that he only has until around May to prove that he is responsible enough to get his driver's license and if he does not SHOW us that, he has to wait until he is 18 to get it. He has been getting along with his brothers and sister so well, that they actually WANT to play with him and spend time with him. This was not the case just a few weeks ago! We are proud of him and how much he has improved in such a short time. We just pray that he continues to improve and behave! 

I found out last week (and confirmed it yesterday) that I still have a substituting job with our school district even though I did not send in my letter accepting the position for this coming school year! I am so relieved because I was NOT looking forward to searching for a job in this bad economy! I went to the substitute meeting today and learned all about their new subfinder system. AND this year I will be paid more than last year since this is my 3rd year with the district!! Hubby has been stressing hard about money and paying bills and this is going to be such a weight off of us both. We have no daycare cost this year so all the money I make will go to bills and household expenses instead of daycare! 

Some of you may remember that I was having terrible dizzy spells for about a month (maybe a little more) that started about a week after my miscarriage. Well as soon as the monthly visitor went out the door, so did the dizzy spells!! I feel amazing. Better than I have in YEARS! We are still going to take 2 cycles off from trying to conceive to let my body have a rest and maybe normal out some, but I am stoked that my health is improving! Also if we start trying again in September it means that we will have a summer baby and I will not miss any work or school!

You all remember the creepy stalker guy?  If not you can catch up here.  Well, He did it again....to another girl in the apartments where he moved to.  I don't know the exact extent of what he did or all the details.  All I do know is that it was enough that the girl called the cops and he is now in jail for at least 3 months.  I guess they figured out that he was truly a danger to women since he went all stalker-psycho on more than one woman.  I am now breathing easier knowing he is in jail for a while.

Well, that is what has been going on lately! I am just so happy that things are starting to get better.

Praying hard for this little boy

Please keep this family in your prayers. They need them. Little Stellan is being airlifted to Boston after a very long and scary night. He is not doing well at all. Lift this family up in prayer.

If you would like to learn more about what is going on, just click on the picture and it will take you to the blog.

This is just cruel

As you know I took a pregnancy test last Wednesday that came up positive.  I posted the crappy pic that did no justice to the second line.  I know it was positive.  I am certain of that fact.

Well, I took a test yesterday........negative.  

WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?

And today the ugly witch showed her face.  

I don't know what is going on.  The only thing that I do know is that I am done taking tests.  Just done.  I WILL NOT get my hopes up again like this.  I can't do it.  I can't take the let down.  I can't take the loss.  I do not know if I was even really pregnant this month.  No way to really tell now.  I felt pregnant.  I felt like I did last month.  Even had started to puke some from morning sickness.

I am really feeling defeated right now.  I feel like I have been through enough bullshit in my life that I deserve to have the one thing I want....a baby.  But that seems to be the one thing that keeps slipping through our hands.  It seems like there is some cruel joke being played at our expense.  We get pregnant and it gets taken away.  I don't get it.

I would rather that we NOT get pregnant than to get pregnant and lose the baby.  Period.  

Well, me and hubby have decided that we are going to take this month off from trying to conceive and see if that helps out with a baby sticking around long enough to meet us face to face.  I am going to make it easy for us to NOT try and schedule my colposcopy right before my estimated ovulation date, since you cannot "baby dance" for a week after you have one.  That will make it easier to NOT try.  To not be tempted to just go ahead and try.

Well, now you know why this is just cruel.

Bad day...I have a stalker....

You read that right...I have a stalker.  No joke.  Here is what has happened:

Hubby found a bag FULL of love notes to me from the guy across the street (he lives in a camper in the driveway of the neighbors house, he's their brother). AND let me tell you this is CREEPY beyond belief. He always tries to talk to me (I ignore), told me several times that he is in love with me, told MY KIDS that he is in love with me, and now this grocery bag full of love notes. 

I called the neighbor and had her come over and showed her all of it and talked to her, she called her husband (it's his brother) and he came straight home, catching his brother on the side of the road on the way and told him not to come back EVER. 

Oh, and this guy is a sex offender I found out. 

I am going to be contacting the police as soon as Hubby gets home and pressing some sort of charges on this guy. I cannot have this kind of stuff going on, especially with my kids around. I have been dealing with this crap for months from this guy. I quit spending any time in my front yard (which has the only tree----and only shade) because of this guy and his crap. I thought if I ignored him and avoided unnecessary contact that it would stop....but nope...it has gotten worse.

OMG. I am just so done with today. If this hadn't have happened to me I would have thought that a story like this just doesn't happen. Seems so unbelievable. Here is pics of the bag of letters and one of the letters. You will see what I mean about CREEPY.

And trust me when I say that the letters get worse than the one you see here. I only read a few before I got physically sick to my stomach.

Here we go again!!!

Well, I guess I will just post the pic and you can see for yourself what is going on AGAIN!

Now I know it is hard to see (squint and you can see it better) and that is what worries me.

We had this happen last month. Getting faint positive and we all know what happened next.

I am scared, nervous, excited, frustrated all at once.  I will not be testing again until probably Sunday or Monday.  I want to take another one after a few days just to make sure before I go running into the doc.

Pray for us.  We don't want a repeat of last month and we are scared to death that is what is going to happen.