Monday, October 19, 2009

Just a little update on all things ME!

It has been a little while since I have updated, so I figured it was time.

***Just a caution:  I go off on a little rant after the update on Big. J. Sorry :)***

Big J. is doing better since he is not in school.  He started his credit recovery program last week and is doing well.  He says it is fairly easy and he thinks that he will get through it with no problem at all.  We are still hashing out the details about homeschooling. Making calls to insure that we are getting him into the right program.  Going over particulars with Big J's mom so that we are all on the same page.  We should be starting that by the end of this month, though. Things are starting to calm now.  Big J. will be starting some volunteer work soon, which will hopefully give him some perspective on life and how real people live it.  We hope it will help him to be able to start seeing beyond himself and look at the BIG picture of life.

We are still TTC.  I have decided that I do not want to go through a battery of tests *just* yet.  We are going to wait until March to do all of that if we do not get pregnant by then.  I am really hoping the reduced stress level will help in this area.  

It has been six months since the surgery.  One miscarriage, one possible chemical pregnancy, and months of trying have started to take it's toll on my confidence in our ability to conceive and have a healthy pregnancy.  

It seems that all the women around me are getting pregnant, and not always purposefully, and I'm stuck on the sidelines.  

Trying to be happy for them, yet breaking down on the inside.  

I wanna scream when one of the pregnant ladies bitches about being pregnant.  I want to shake them and tell them that they should be thanking their lucky stars that they are pregnant because there are others (me) that want so desperately to be in their exact shoes right then. Sick, miserable but still LOVING IT.  I would literally give my right arm to be pregnant and have a healthy pregnancy and baby.  I will welcome, with open arms, the sickness, weight gain, swelling, and fatigue that come with pregnancy.  

But I swear if I hear one more pregnant woman bitch about being pregnant I'm going postal up in this joint! 

Whew, that felt good.  

That is just a little of what is going on.  

Going to be doing a photo post soon.  Our home grown pumpkin is almost ready to be harvested and carved!

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