Thursday, January 14, 2010

Writer's Workshop: 100th Post and a Broken Heart

Mama's Losin' It

It's that time again! Time for Writer's Workshop from Mama Kat! (just click on the nifty little pic up there to go see her!)

I haven't done one in a while and figured I'd make my 100th post a special one!

Here are the prompts:

1.) Time for your tangent…what is your latest complaint?

2.) If you could have given yourself a snapshot five years ago of what your life is like now, what would the picture be of and how do you think you would have felt about it?

3.) What’s in YOUR name? What does it mean? Why was it given to you? etc..

4.) Write a letter to the first person who ever broke your heart.

5.) Welcome to the most shocking rose ceremony in writing prompt history. Please award roses to the ten people (or items) in your life that you’d like to continue pursuing a relationship with.

I figure since this is a special post....My 100th post...that I'd get a little deep and go for the letter to the first person who ever broke your heart.

Now, I've felt heartbroken before this, but this was truly the first time my heart was broken bad. And it is to my piece of shit ex-husband. Enjoy. (this is not going to be a rant...just read...you'll be surprised!)

Dear POS,

First off, I would like to thank you. Thank you for all you put me through. Not what you expected to hear from me? I thought not.

Thank you for forcing me to be a stronger person. Without the beatings, the hatred you showed me, the cheating, the worry, the fights, and the general lack of caring on your part; I would have never known exactly how strong I could be. I know now. I'm stronger than you know. I'm stronger than you, but you've figured that part out over the last 4 years, now haven't you?

Thank you for forcing me to become EXTREMELY good with money. Without knowing when we would have money to buy food and pay for a roof over our head; I learned how to shop for a lot of food for just a little money. I also learned what it was like to go hungry so that your children can eat. Thank you for showing me that. Thank you for showing me that I am not only willing but also able to do whatever it takes for my children and their well-being.

Thank you for fighting the divorce. Without that fight, I would have never known the level of determination I have within me. Thank you for showing me that.

Thank you for belittling me for going back to college and calling me a moron that would never amount to anything. Without your lack of support, I would have never worked as hard as I have to prove you wrong. I would not be sitting here, right now, 3 semesters away from being a REAL teacher. I would not have my 3.52 GPA or have been on the Dean's list as many times as I have been. Thank you for forcing me to give college my all and succeed in all I've done.

Thank you for my children. They are the reason I live, and as much as I wish it were not true, you gave them to me. I teach them every day to be the opposite of what you are today, so thank you for giving me an example of what I do not want my children to be. Oh, and thank you so much for continuing to use drugs so that you cannot be a part of their lives now. I'm sure they will thank you as well when they are older and understand everything a little better.

Thank you for showing me that I really am a good person. Compared to you, I am a saint. I learned that I'm not a bad person. I learned that, though I make mistakes, I have a good heart and am a good person. I learned the depth of my love for humanity and God. All because of the qualities I saw in you, most of which are not good. So thank you for that.

You made sure to destroy all the love I ever felt for you in the last 5 years we were married. But through all that destroying, I learned what qualities I wanted in a husband, none of which you possess, and that knowledge led me to find the man I WILL spend the rest of my life with. A man that is a father to my children, that loves them as if they were his own. A man that sees my worth and my flaws and loves them all. So, thank you, one last time, for giving me that.

Sincerely,

7 comments:

  1. Wow, that WAS deep! You have climbed the mountain and come out on top! Visiting from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop :) Keep strong!

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  2. Such a strong post, Jennifer! I'm so glad you took such a bad situation and pulled every ounce of good out of it! Good for you!

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  3. I experienced most of what you said about the POS. I thanked him in person when it was the first anniversary of his leaving - it was the hardest and the BEST year of my life.

    A good life is the best revenge - I am so glad you have let go of the bitterness and moved on to a better place.

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  4. I love it...no woman scorned here! You are very strong and deserve all the happiness in the world!

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  5. And thank you for surviving all that and coming out a better person!

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  6. This is a powerful post. Kudos to you for being a strong woman.

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  7. Way to go! You're a rock star :-)

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