Nerves

I have my first appointment with my midwife in about 2 hours and my nerves are SHOT! I am so scared that we will get bad news again and that we will lose this baby too. Even though I have a good feeling about this pregnancy, the nagging fear is still there.

Brilliant B. is trying not to get too excited until we find out everything is ok and that is bugging me. I want him to be as excited as I am right now, but he is a worrywart and is being cautious.

It has been hard to not just tell everyone that we are pregnant. I want to scream it from the rooftop, but we are going to wait until after the ultrasound to make an announcement.

We are going to tell the kids first and then our parents and then extended family and friends. I can't wait. I know that Diva D. and Little J. will be thrilled, not so sure about Smarty-pants C. and Big J. Big J. was not thrilled that his bio-mom has had 2 more babies since his parents divorced, so we are not sure how he is going to take the news that we are going to have a baby. Smarty-pants C. is not here all that much since he moved to Indiana and I don't think the news will sink in until he is here in April for Spring Break. I'm just nervous about Big J.'s reaction. He is not known for handling news he doesn't like well.

*sigh* can I just sleep until after the ultrasound tells us everything is ok?